Icky Vicky's Man
by the labile affect
Summary: Where can I find a detective like that? Shawn doesn't know. Shassie parody to "Jessie's Girl". Please R&R!


**I was talking to PuppyDogJou and and we agreed that this needed an alternate ending, so here we go! This is the lengthened version!**

_Icky Vicky is a whore,_

_Yeah, I know she's been_

_A wicked bitch to me_

_But lately something's changed_

_That ain't hard to define_

_Icky Vicky's got herself an ex-husband _

_And I want to make him mine_

_And he's watching her with those blue, _

_Blue eyes_

_And he's lovin' her with that sexy body,_

_I just know it_

_Yeah 'n' she's holding him in her arms late,_

_Late at night_

_You know, I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man,_

_I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man_

_Where can I find a detective like that?_

_I play along with the charade,_

_there doesn't seem to be a reason to change_

_You know, I feel so dirty_

_When they start talking cute_

_I wanna tell him that I love him,_

_But the point is probably moot_

_'Cos he's watching her with those blue,_

_Blue eyes_

_And he's lovin' her with that sexy body,_

_I just know it_

_And she's holding him in her arms late, _

_Late at night_

_You know, I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man,_

_I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man_

_Where can I find a detective like that?_

_Like Icky Vicky's man,_

_I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man_

_Where can I find a detective,_

_Where can I find a detective like that?_

_And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time,_

_Wondering what he don't see in me_

_I've been funny,_

_I'm a psychic,_

_I've been cool with the eighties lines,_

_I've even shared my pineapple_

_Ain't that the way_

_Love supposed to be?_

_Tell me, where can I find a detective like that?_

_You know, I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man,_

_I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man_

_I want Icky Vicky's man,_

_Where can I find a Lassie like that?_

_Like Icky Vicky's man,_

_I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man,_

_I want,_

_I want Icky Vicky's man_

Gus couldn't stop staring until Shawn was finished flouncing around the Psych office with the handle of a hairbrush to his mouth as he belted out his tune seemingly on the spot.

"…Shawn, I seriously worry about you and your creepy obsession with Lassie sometimes."

"I wish that I had Icky Vicky's maaaan!"

Shawn really didn't like Victoria… or any other exes of Lassie's, for that matter. This was just his way of getting a little secret payback. By dedicating a rather rude parody of an eighties song to her, hell yes!

"…What the hell did I just walk in on?"

Shawn immediately froze, ever so slowly turning around to see Lassie standing at the door with a total "WTF?" look on the cop's face. Dammit. Plastering a cheesy grin on his face, Shawn tried to look as innocent as possible.

"Uh… nothing." Yeah, that was smooth. Shawn mentally rolled his eyes at himself. The one time he needed to think fast and he blanked, of course.

"…That's it? No witty explanation for this mess?" Lassie did not seem amused as he crossed his arms over his chest. Mm, those arms looked so safe and warm. What he wouldn't do to cuddle in them…

"How about All Crab at seven?" Shawn blurted hopefully, taking a leap of faith. Lassie had already caught him singing about his jealousy of the Head Detective's ex-wife, so why not? Lassie paused, his scowl not lifting from his face. Shawn's tummy did a nervous flip. This was a mistake, he shouldn't have…

"I'm not big on sea food. Make it Greek Bistro at eight. And Spencer?" Shawn blinked, hardly believing his ears. He nodded dumbly, not sure how to take this in. He had a date – a date! – with Carlton Lassiter of the SBPD.

"Don't be late. Your ass better be there when I expect it to be." And then Lassie had left, causing Shawn to wonder what the older male had stopped by for in the first place. Well, he could always ask the taller man later… on their date! Giddy with joy, he whooped and pumped his fist in the air.

"Gus! Did you hear that? …Gus?" Where was Gus?

"…I was so not expecting that." Gus's head popped out from under his desk, having been hiding in case Lassie's head exploded and he needed to take cover. He didn't particularly like the idea of getting brain splatters on his clothing. Lassie agreeing to go to dinner with Shawn, though? Completely weird.

"I think you're both crazy, Shawn."

"Ha! Crazy or not, I've got to get ready for this evening. I've got a hot date!" And Shawn was suddenly scurrying into the bathroom to preen for the next hour or two while Gus was left shaking his head.

Well, the double zinger to Shawn's song was this: Guess who has two thumbs and actually got Icky Vicky's Man in the end? That's right, this guy!


End file.
